Friday, September 18, 2009

ON HOPE. Another Human Condition

Hope: i) a belief that something desired will happen,
ii)a person, a thing or circumstance that makes hope possible
Mahabuba: a Kiswahili term of endearment that could literally translate to my most beloved love.

To want something and consider it possible is the very nature and the fitting explanation of hope.
To create our fantasies and desire that there be a way to realise them is to hope.

We hope even when the odds are against us, when scientific facts are thrown at us, when we are stuck in the middle of nowhere with no charge in our phone battery.

Hope.

It would seem to me that often, what keeps us going is not knowledge, or even clarity, but hope.

There is something profound and stoic about hope. She is the reason a mother will pray for her hardcore criminal son or why a lover will fight to keep a marriage afloat, Hope. It is an irrational condition that has no substitute.

Now, considering I am very much human, I too have a never ending affair with hope. Hope is my mistress, and I am her slave. We are very well suited.
On the upcoming album "The Human Condition" we capture this condition on the song "Mahabuba." I was surprised at how easily I opened up to the co-writers and the producer on my own love in waiting fantasy.

I am a believer in love, and the possibility that in this incarnation, I will be reunited with the flesh of my flesh, and the bone of my bone. Yes, I said it. I believe in a soul mate. I observe that while we can choose to make the one we are with "the one,"I believe the "one" does exists out there. Together with the truth, and balance (speaking of which, whoever meets balance please tell her/him that she /him is wanted by me dead or alive, and quickly too!) That the one soul split into two, and the two into four, the four into six and so forth and so soul mitosis.

And I do think there is a difference between togetherness and oneness.

And so I hope that he be truly human, and yet walk with the confidence of a god. That he be whole and yet know that his soul is forever roaming until it will find its rest within mine. I hope that I stay open, hope that I remain un-jaded, hope that we find each other, hope that we can be together in this lifetime.

Hope that I am right.

Mahabuba...HOPE PART II.

Mahabuba,
I am leaving gaps.
So many empty spaces, so many gaps…
So when I tell you about my life, it does not feel too full, too crowded.
And also just in case you walk in now, mid-sentence, mid dream, you find room to stay… and when I remember you light years from now,
I find that you belonged with the collection of memories and future projections.

I am leaving gaps.
Like that time when I only half laughed with that man,
or like when I only half came…

See, I am leaving all these spaces so when you come around,
I see,
I mean, I feel,
I mean, I know that you were what was missing.

I am only giving half stories. Only half participating.
It's almost too painful to be in this moment, here surrounded by a sea of smiles.
My half laughter is only completed in sighs.
I miss you.
Please come faster, come love.

I'm looking at this piece of art and I know,
I just know that I am missing half of it.
Come quickly and tilt my head, turn my heart, shift my perspective.
Everything is so easy to learn, to understand where there is love.
I need you to show me the part that I am missing.

Come quickly.

Lately, the sun is only half rising.
The sky is falling.
My heart is melting.
Did you forget me?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

ON DESIRE. Another Human Condition....

OF DESIRE.:

In my imagination, we are the product of desire.

In my understanding, we are in ourselves a physical manifestation of a fantasy. And what a fantasy, and what a mind! That it should dream with such clarity, such spontaneity, such intensity, such significance! And it feels to me like the world in its entire array, to the best of our observation and limited understanding, it feels like the creator could scarcely contain himself. In fact I bet he didn't! It feels like the fantasy was to put on a display of his dream in any format, in every shape, in every place, on every single plane. The plan? To express to his highest, deepest, widest. To burst forth and place himself in every nook and every cranny, in every visible and every invisible way. What a rush! I can imagine the creator spewing forth colours, ideas, fragrance and spices. I imagine the creator devising dualities- East and West, the present and the absent, the mighty and the lame, the sinner and the saint, every strength unique, and every vice in deed. What a mind that would so seamlessly warp the profound, then weft it with the profane.

We are the highest expression of desire
And this is why we belong here, in this place, in our skin, in our present circumstance.
And this is my connection to the whole universe. This is how I am the bird that flies, the fish in the water, the grass on the earth, the wind and the sky, the ant and the worm in the earth. Because each element, each particle, each person, each moment, each flavour, each of the seen and unseen is a fragment of the divine desire. Because of divine desire, we are all the extension of the brilliant creator and in so doing, the creator and the created are eternally bonded.
This is my answer to why we were created. If you ask me who I am, I will most likely tell you I am desire, and in equal measure, I am desired. This is why I fit, and that’s where I belong. I am a shining sparkle in the vast tapestry of life.

We are the evidence, the absolute proof that dreams come true, that faith produces that which is imagined. That in the process of creating he become the creator and that now the created contain that very same essence. Not like it. But are it! That very essence, and so we too are the creator.

So then, Dear universe, bless our desires.
Teach us to guard jealously our dreams, to fuel them unrelentingly, to wish upon them, hope for their realization, wait upon their arrival in complete trust, as an expecting woman eagerly waits to see her child.
Allow us to embrace our desires fully, and completely, and totally.
Help us enjoy them in the privacy of our mind, and express them confidently and sincerely when in a congregation of people.
Please Lord, even when what we desire seems trivial, or too grand, or too perfect, inspire us with possibility, and love. Remind us constantly that if there is a chance that it could come true, then it probably will.
Allow us to be courageous, to be witty and to have fun in the pursuit of our desires.

Bless our desires Lord. Bless them each and all. And bless us too...